Dream On

The surprise of all surprises I had I my entire life.

I entered the garden full of blue and we the roses. Candle-lit pavilion embedded with silver and bronze stones sparkle along with the lunar rays. He gazed at me and looked back, I was struck. Our eyes were locked with each other’s. Stunned and appalled, my heart was thumping fast.

Swaying room as the music starts… strangers making the most of the dark…

That song. The song I’ve always wanted to dance. That man. It was perfect.

I see you through the smokey air… can you feel the weight of my stare?

He held my hand, we danced, we are in love.

Thought of it as unfair, he was in his best, clean, donning long sleeves in shades of rogue. And I was in my plain PE shirt and sweatpants. But for me, I was Cinderella. And the time was before midnight.

You see I’m crazy for you… Touch me once and you’ll know its true…

He leans towards me. Our eyes entwined then he whispers…

“Please stay… forever.”

He squeezed my hand and I felt his breath in my face. He was about to kiss me…

I never wanted anyone like this… it’s all brand new… you’ll feel it in my kiss…

He was getting closer… and closer… and then…


BUZZ!

My alarm clock rang. Tsk.

“I’m crazy for you,” I sighed.

Tagu-taguan, Maliwanag ang Buwan

Ang alam ko, masaya ako.

Hindi ko namalayang madilim na. masyado kasi akong nawili sa pakikipagkwentuhan sa mga kaklase ko. Mag-aalas siyete nap ala ng gabi. At kahit tinatamad pakong umuwi, wala akong magagawa dahil sermon na naman ang sasalubong sa akin pagdating ko sa bahay. Hanep, daig ko pa ang nag-simba.

Ngayon ko lang napansin na wala yung paborito kong tinitignan sa langit, ang Venus. May nakapagsabi kasi sakin nay un daw yung pinkamakinang na bituin (planeta yun, pero sige na nga) sa langit ‘pag gabi.

Napatingin ako bigla sa aspaltong dinadaanan ko. Lubak pala ‘to. Ngayon ko lang napansin. Siguro nga masyado lang akong nawili kakatitig sa taas at kakahanap kay Venus nung kasabay ko pa siya pauwi.

Pero ngayon, mag-isa na lang ako. Iniwan niya na’ko.

* * *

“Umuwi na kaya ako? Eh kaya lang wala pa siya, eh.”

Miyerkules ng hapon nu’n, oras ng uwian. Nagdadalawang isip ako kung sasabay na’ko sa mga kaklase ko o hihintayin ko pa si Mark.

Si Mark. Siya yung taong kumukumpleto ng araw ko. Yung nagpapasaya sa’kin. Hindi ko siya boyfriend, pero parang ganun na rin. At siya ang taong painakamahal ko.

Hangos na hangos na dumating si Mark sa labas ng classroom namin. Halatang tumakbo para abutan ako.

“Oh ano? Tara na.”

Nagtaka naman ako. “Sa’n tayo punta?”

“Wednesday ngayon ‘di ba? Sa simbahan. Simba tayo.”

Unang date, sa simbahan?! Pero sige na nga. As if naman na may magagawa pa’ko. Laking gulat ko ng kinuha niya yung paper bag na dala kong may lamang mga libro. “Ako na,” sabi niya. Para akong matutunaw sa pagkakataong iyon. Haaay.

Nang matatapos ang misa, inalok niya akong ihatid pauwi. Total naman, medyo madilim na rin naman at parho lang kami ng daan. Sana lang hindi pa matapos itong gabing ‘to.

Habang naglalakad palabas, bigla siyang may tinuro sa kalangitan at bumulong ng “Venus oh.”

“Ha?”

“Venus. Ayun oh. Yung pinakamakinang.”

“Asan?” Sabay tinuro niya ulit sa’kin.

“Sa’n mo naman nalaman ‘yan?” Medyo tumatawa ako nung sinasabi ko yun.

“Basta.”

Ang tipid niya talaga magsalita. Iniisip ko minsan kung napapanis na yung laway bito ni Mark o talagang ayaw niya lang akong kausap. Pero sa mga mata niya, alam kong mas marami pa siyang kayang sabihin. Ayaw niya lang ipaalam. Ewan ko kung bakit.

Magkagano’n pa man, basta’t nandiyan siya, masaya na’ko. Nararamdaman ko ko at alam kong mahal niya ako.

Sumakay na kami ng tricycle. At dahil malamig, sumandal ako sakanya. Hindi naman siya tumanggi o umimik. Nabigla ako dahil hinawakan niya ang kamay ko hanggang sa pagbaba ko. Eto na siguro ang pinakamasayang sandali ng buhay ko.

* * *

Ur free… Go on ur way nd I’l go myn.

Halos ihagis ko na ang cellphone ko ng mabasa ko ang mga katagang ‘to. Aminado akong ako may kasalanan. At dahil dun, nawal na si Mark sa’kin. Tapos na kami. Tapos na ang kwento namin.

Si Mark yung tipo ng tao na naninindigan sa salita niya lalo na’t alam niyan tama siya. Kung anong pinaniniwalaan niya, hindi mo na mababago yun. Isa dun ay ang hindi pagtiwala sa pagmamahal na binigay niya. Akala niya sapat na ang pagmamahal niya. Mali pala daw siya.

May isa kasi akong hinihingi sakanya eh. Commitment. Hindi niya mabigay yun dahil marami din siyang iba pang commitment. Sa school, sa pamilya at sa mga kaibigan niya. Parang mas importante daw yun at kelangan yun muna ang pagtuunan ng pansin…kesa sa’kin. Aray.

Halos magdadalawang taon na kaming ganito pero hindi pa rin kami opisyal na mag-girlfriend/boyfriend. At kung may tawag ‘dun, exclusively dating at mutual understanding ata.

Hindi rin kami naayos. Hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang nawala.

* * *

Patuloy pa rin ako sa paglalakad papunta sa paradahan ng tricycle. Titig sa taas, buntong hininga, sabay masid ulit sa aspaltong daan. Minsan nasabi niya sa‘kin sa text na “eventho wer far away nd Im not around, jas rmmber dat wer undr d seym sky.”

Si Venus, wala siya. Hindi ko siya Makita. Baka napagod nang kuminang-kinang sa kalangitan. Nakakatawang isipin pero, tinataguan ata ako. Parang si Mark.

Sadya kong binabagalan ang aking hakbang pauwi. Nagbabakasakaling makasabay ko pa siya…at sabay naming pagmamasdan si Venus sa taas.

Have a Break, Have a Knick-Knack

My body just got paralyzed. My brain malfunctioned minutes ago. Some mundane things just ran in my head. I rest myself on the bed, legs straight, eyes oon the ceiling, and a complete blank mind-set.

I hope it stays this way.

Weeks ago, it came to my knowledge that we, woking scholars, are not benefitted of semestral breaks. It's because of this stupid contract signed effective until the end of the month of October. And damn, i want to scream WTF.

The gods must be crazy.

Since the time i stepped college grounds, my everyday mantra haven't changed. Same scenes over and over agian. My biological clock wakes me up at 6 am, makes me hungry between 9:30 to twelve noon, and lulls me at 12 midnight or 1 in the dawn. A super repetition of my daily whatabouts.

Every f*cking second counts. And a workless hour is a sweet reward.

Those aren't aware, this is my college life:

MORNING-student utusan in the library
AFTERNOON-estudyante
EVENING/DAWN- monster. HAHA

Spell exhausted plus nostalgia. I miss the island. My puberty pals, the high school bullies, puppy love dilemmas, timeless hours and a lot of crassness. It's like boom! Welcome to the real world.

Oh, by the way, meet my major exam pals, CoCo. Cobra and coffee. HAHA :D they try to wake me up from night to dawn. My friends in times of need.

I'm having a major breakdown. Give me a break. Tired. Whew, college.

I live for DREAMS.
I die for MEMOIRS.
I hunger for SUCCESS.
I pray for LONGEVITY.

A very old blog post

I found my very old blogspot site in my classmate's links. I forgot it's password and email. silly me. HAHA :))

It has only one post. An article I've submitted in The Laboratorian (high school publication) way way back then. Just giving a shot HAHA

LABORATORIAN BANDWAGON

Want to organize a band? The band that plays for school activities and balls? Problem is, you don’t know how. That’s easy! Start strumming those basses and guitars and beat those drums for some tips in how to keep that music starting.

First, in organizing a school band, you have to have your members. Be it your classmate, batch mate, schoolmate or a student who excel in any instrument in hand. It depends on how you want your group to be. It may be an all-male group or all-female group or on a mixed gender-basis.The following members you need are:

The vocalist- she/he may be a chorale member or anyone who have a ‘band voice’. Don’t look for someone who have a high-pitched voice. You’re organizing a band, not an opera.

The guitarist- you may have two of these. They may be someone who have their past time strumming their acoustic guitar in the corridor, pergola or even in their room.The bassist- that someone who knows to play the bass guitar.

The drummer- if he’s a DLC member, the better. If she’s a she, and knows how to get along with the tempo, that’s way too cool! Imagine, a girl beating those drums?! Astig!

The organ player- it’s optional. That someone may be the one who takes piano lessons every Saturdays.

Now you have your members (be sure you’d be one of those... hehe...), the next step is to discuss on what type of music you’d guys be playing. Rock, punk, heavy metal or whatever blows your mind that is. And of course, don’t forget…naming the band is a must! Here are some tips:

Name of your section- if your group consists of students in the same section. 3G for example stands for III-Gold.

Food- in any way you want it. Examples are Sandwich, Mayonnaise, Sugarfree, etc.

Name of the band members- sometimes, intitials will do.

Others- as long as your band sounds cool, you do your options.

And now you’re ready. Make sure you have a regular practice and of course, the instruments. Let your teachers supervise in every performance in any affair. And taa-daa! Welcome to the Laboratorian BANDwagon!

AN ISSUE ON A TISSUE

I still love him.
Do I?
Crap. NO.
I'm a denial queen.
He's not existing anymore.
How could i love someone whom I can't even feel any presence at all?
I have a boyfriend.
Stop that.
I have a boyfriend... but i don't love him.
I miss him.
Damn, it hurts.
So near yet so far away.
Now, he's a friend.
No. A stranger.
I want him back.
He left me, he'll be leaving.
I'll just stay here.
...foolish.

HUNGRY

I scream for ice cream,
Come melt with me,
'Coz you're my chocolate sundae.

You tickle my tongue.
You freeze me up.
I'll sip you up my slurpee.

Really finger-lickin' good
Make me crave for more
My love, you're my cheese fries.

I levitate, I fly
Drink to that till the last drop
You make me float, oh! Coke float!

You're a mixture of everything I want
Your sweetness, your taste
You fill me up
I'll gobble you up
I'll empty you
You're everything I digest for
And makes my heart burp for more.